“Where Should Mum Live?”: What I’ve Learned About Retirement and Aged Care Housing Options
I’ve had this conversation a lot lately with clients, colleagues, and even with my own family.
It usually starts with something like:
“Mum’s doing fine, but we think she’s getting lonely.”
or
“Dad’s still independent, but what happens when that changes?”
And sometimes, like just last week:
“She’s 95 and still living on her own, but now we’re thinking about care options.”
If you’ve ever wondered when the right time is to start planning aged care, the answer is simple: before it becomes urgent.
I’ve walked alongside families trying to figure this out. I’ve also been through it myself. And here’s what I’ve learned about the housing options available as your parents age and how to navigate the decision without being overwhelmed.
1. Retirement Living Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
There’s a big difference between aged care and retirement living, and knowing that difference can help you make better decisions.
Some retirement villages are just that: independent units in a secure complex where someone else changes the lightbulbs, tends the gardens, and organises Friday night bingo. These can work beautifully for people in good health who are simply over the hassle of home ownership. But many of them come with a catch, up to 30% in exit fees when you leave.
Other places offer a more integrated model. You start in independent living, but if you need meals, medical support, or even residential care later, it’s all available within the same community. These are harder to find, but I think they’re worth the effort.
If you’re wondering how to start the search, I always suggest one thing first: proximity. Find somewhere that fits into your family’s life, close enough that visits don’t feel like a chore. That alone can make a huge difference.
2. You Need to Know the Financial Structure, Early
The emotional conversation is tough enough. But it gets more complicated once you add contracts, exit penalties, and questions like:
“Can we afford this if Mum sells her home?”
“Will it affect her pension?”
“Do we need a financial assessment from Centrelink?”
If you’re helping a parent with this decision, make sure you understand:
What the ingoing and outgoing fees are
Whether the property is leasehold or freehold
Who takes care of ongoing maintenance or rates
How their super or savings come into play
We often work with aged care financial specialists who can explain this clearly and avoid the common traps I’ve seen families fall into.
3. Start the Conversation Before a Fall, Not After
When I met with one client recently, her 95-year-old mother had just decided she might be ready to move. Up until then, she’d been fiercely independent and socially active, but now loneliness was creeping in. That’s the best-case scenario. She was ready before the crisis.
But I’ve also seen the other side: a call after a hospital admission. There’s panic, limited options, and almost no time to do due diligence.
That’s why I encourage clients to start early. Visit villages. Learn the difference between retirement and aged care. Ask about waitlists. Don’t leave it too late.
4. Social Connection Matters More Than You Think
One of the most unexpected things I’ve heard from older clients is how much they value shared meals.
Some of these communities offer a dining room for nightly dinners, usually for around $15–20. That small detail can make a massive difference. Mum doesn’t have to eat alone. She can chat with friends, feel part of something, and still retreat to her unit when she’s had enough social time.
We often focus on medical care, but loneliness is its own kind of health risk, especially after 85, when so many women find themselves living alone.
Final Word
Helping a parent transition into retirement living or care is one of the most emotionally layered decisions you’ll make. There’s guilt, grief, relief, uncertainty, and usually a lot of paperwork.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: you don’t have to do it all on your own.
At Financial Wellness Hub, we work with families to untangle the financial side of aged care and housing, so you can focus on what matters most: your parent’s comfort, dignity, and wellbeing.
If you’re starting to think about this journey, or you’re already in the thick of it, we’re here to help.
Book a complimentary 20-minute session. No pressure. Just honest guidance from someone who’s been there.