When Your Grown Child Moves Back: The Hidden Costs and Smart Strategies for Sydney Parents

A few months ago, I met with a client who looked both relieved and uneasy. Her daughter had just finished uni and moved back in, not because she wanted to, but because Sydney rents were squeezing her out.

“On one hand, I’m glad she has a roof over her head. On the other, I thought I’d finally get some financial breathing room. Now it’s back to being everyone on edge.”

This scenario is becoming more common than many parents realise. And it’s not just about extra mouths at the table.

Why It’s Happening, Especially in Sydney

Young adults are staying longer in the parental home in Australia. More than half of men aged 18–29 still live with their parents, and nearly half of women in that age group do too, according to the latest HILDA survey.
In Sydney and New South Wales, which are among the most expensive housing markets in the country, the trend is especially strong.

Why? A few reasons:

• Rental costs have skyrocketed and pushed the break-even point out of reach.

• Many young people are in precarious or part-time work, so their income is unstable.

• Some continue study after graduation, which delays full-time work and therefore delays independent living.

• Cultural and family norms also play a role, particularly in households with immigrant backgrounds where multigenerational living is more common.

So what seems like a temporary arrangement is becoming a more prolonged phase.

The Pressure You Didn’t Plan For

Let’s talk about what this means, emotionally, financially, and for your future.

1. Eroded Financial Plans

Many parents breathe a sigh of relief when the kids move out. They imagine fewer expenses, more savings, travel, or investing. But when your adult child moves back, those plans often get derailed.

Suddenly you're covering groceries, utilities, and maybe rent or board. Money you expected to direct elsewhere now gets absorbed into daily costs.

2. Household Infrastructure Strain

More use of power, water, wear and tear, noise, and overlapping routines. Two or three adults in a single-family home is not the same as one or two. What felt comfortable may start feeling crowded.

3. Relationship Friction

Boundaries get blurred. What’s fair, what’s expected, and who does which chores become daily friction points.

I’ve seen couples fall out over things like one adult child “hogging the bathroom” or refusing to clean after themselves. The conflict is not really about money; it is about dignity and expectations.

4. Deferred Future Decisions

You might stop planning your own retirement or travel dreams because there is always “something more pressing”: the cost of living, your child’s career start, or their education debt. Those dreams then get deferred again and again.

What You Can Do (Without Burning Out or Losing Your Mind)

If this sounds familiar, here are practical steps that can help you handle the returning-child phase without losing financial control.

Set Clear Expectations Early

Before your child moves in (or immediately after), sit down and talk. Define mutual responsibilities:

• Will they pay board, and if so, how much?

• Will they contribute to groceries, utilities, or a share of bills?

• Which chores are theirs?

• How long will this arrangement last, if you can set a timeline?

Clear expectations help prevent resentment and misunderstandings.

Treat It as a Temporary Stage, Not a Permanent Change

Remind yourself and them that this is transitional. The goal is not indefinite cohabitation. Encourage them to plan a path forward, whether that means building savings, improving career prospects, or gradually moving out.

Don’t Stop Investing in Your Future

Even if you need to absorb extra costs for a few years, don’t abandon your own goals. Cut discretionary spending elsewhere, automate what you must save (super, emergency fund), and don’t let your life be on hold indefinitely.

Maintain Personal Space and Boundaries

Have your own routines and your own “zones” in the house. It’s okay to protect your mental health. Encourage them to contribute to the household culture with respect, responsibility, and courtesy.

Re-Evaluate Together Regularly

Every three to six months, review how things are going. Are the financial contributions fair? Is the shared living arrangement working? Are expectations being met? Use those check-ins to course-correct instead of letting resentment build.

Final Word

When your adult children move back in after school or university, it’s not a sign you’ve failed as a parent. It is a symptom of how expensive and volatile housing has become, especially in places like Sydney.

But what you allow in that period can affect your next decade. The difference between cohabiting and collaborating often comes down to clarity, boundaries, and a shared sense of purpose.

If this is your reality, or something you see on the horizon, let’s talk about how to keep your life, finances, and dreams intact.

Book your complimentary session and we’ll map out what works best for your family.